It's Ok to Question Why in the Unexpected
Guest Blogger: Laurie Davis, Hip Hip Harper Rae
“Why me?” A question we often ask when life places us on an unexpected and uncomfortable path. And I wasn’t immune to jumping to this question as I faced my own unforeseen lot in motherhood, even with complete belief that God is good and His ways are perfect.
My first pregnancy treated me so well - just your run-of-the-mill aches, cravings and excited anticipation for motherhood. As I started to feel contractions a week before my due date, I figured labor and delivery would follow the same uneventful path my pregnancy took. We headed to the hospital with excitement and full of dreams for our little baby girl. Nothing was off-limits, maybe she would be a dancer or grow up to be a doctor. The possibilities were endless and it was fun to dream! Everything felt possible for that baby.
An unexpected diagnosis
As the words “Your daughter has Down syndrome” left the doctor’s mouth, our daughter’s future felt whisked away. In a moment our story changed direction. When you are given a Down syndrome diagnosis, you are handed a list of every challenge, ailment and limitation your newborn baby might face in their entire life. The limitless possibilities are replaced with fear and hopelessness for the future.
Instead of the gradual course correction most parents have with their child’s future as they get to know their child and witness their strengths and weaknesses, the band-aid is ripped off for us receiving a life-altering diagnosis and it is painful.
Those first few weeks were extremely hard trying to wrap my mind around this unexpected diagnosis. My heart was full of love for this little girl, but I also was grieving the daughter I thought I was getting. One that didn’t have a disability. I was being resistant to the path that God placed me on and questioning why everything changed.
But out of God’s kindness, he reminded me of an important truth one day in those early months while listening to a Risen Motherhood podcast. He reminded me that although my life was going to look different that I expected, my purpose as a mom never changed. My purpose was exactly the same regardless if my child had a disability or not. I was to teach my girl to know and love God. Teach her the good news that Jesus died for our sins and was raised to new life, so that whoever believes can have eternal life and a relationship with God.
Truth set me free
I needed to hear this truth to free me from the worries and uncertainties of tomorrow. It helped strip away the unimportant dreams I had for my daughter and instead focused my heart on what matters most. Hope and joy started to bubble inside of me because I knew that Down syndrome in no way would hold her back from knowing and loving God.
My “why me” started to turn to “lucky me” because I started to see the gift it was to raise a child with Down syndrome. It’s not an easy path and it is still full of extra appointments, challenges and delays, but it also provides extra joy and perspective on what matters most in life.
About the author
Laurie Davis is a wife and mom of two little ones. She is a working mom with a passion to write about her motherhood experiences, especially raising her daughter with Down syndrome who teaches her to celebrate and enjoy the scenic journey. You can read more at www.hiphipharperrae.com.